Fourth of July 2016


A few weeks ago, C invited me to spend the long weekend at the beach with her friend P and some other people. $150 for three nights in East Hampton sounded pretty good, considering that my cousin was trying to get me to subsidize her vacation in Westhampton for $240/night (no thanks) and my lady gym is charging $1,395 for two nights in Amagansett (HAHAHAHA).

Observations about my first time in the Hamptons:

  • Shocker: There are a lot of white people there
  • The beach was clean and not crowded, which confused me since I only know Coney Island and the Rockaways
  • Most businesses are cash-only (as T pointed out to me later, rich people know how to stay rich)

P is an amazing organizer and had the foresight to make a Fresh Direct order for our first night. I had some It’s-It ice cream, which is an ice cream sandwich covered in chocolate. GENIUS:


Fun facts about my stay:

  • The person who lives in the house where I stayed works for Ina Garten, which is the most Hamptons-y job I’ve ever heard
  • One of my housemates was a sex-crimes prosecutor in Brooklyn, which thrilled me (she’s a real-life ADA Alex Cabot!)
  • We left the key under the doormat pretty much all of the time, which makes me believe that half of the houses in East Hampton are accessible by a key under the doormat, at least during summer weekends

A few of us returned to the city midday Monday. I went to a douchey party in Williamsburg (redundant?) in an apartment where there were caterers, toilet paper with Donald Trump sound bites, and an entire bedroom dedicated to video games. Here’s a pic of the fireworks from the rooftop:


Moral of the story: Secure your air rights.


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